Dudley's Wand
by WhatIfHP
Summary: Dudley is going to Hogwarts! If you hate Dudley you're going to have to think again after reading this. Slytherin is probably what you believe to be his house, but you are far from it. Ask the sorting hat!
1. A Lost Truth

**Hello and welcome to my first fanfiction! This is a 'What If' Fanfiction. I own nothing, it all belongs to wonderful J.K Rowling because if I did, I would be too rich to write fanfictions! And I wouldn't ask you to review. Because you would review anyway. So please review.**

A Lost Truth

Dudley stared out of the misty window, watching all the colourful cars and motorbikes whizz by, like the emotions that kept bobbing around in his brain. It couldn't be happening, it just couldn't. The spoiled child turned his head to his skinny cousin, who looked just as excited as Dudley himself was, though he could tell Harry was nervous as well. His father was always complaining about something, and today it was owls. "If those b***** owls screech one more time, I'll think about not letting either of you go that school," he growled, and the boys in the back exchanged faces, their lives would be doomed if they couldn't go. Dudley had read about Hogwarts as much as possible, it could help with his popularity, he had told himself. He knew which house he needed to be in, Gryffindor. His mother had said so. Harry had just told Dudley the only way he wouldn't be in Hufflepuff is if he didn't go, and then ran off while it processed in Dudley's brain. He knew what people thought of him, a spoiled brat who got whatever he wanted, but it wasn't that easy. He had to beg to his mother so much that she literally had to say yes or listen to it continue, then get beaten by his father in private for an hour before getting what he wanted. That's why Dudley ate so much, to try and make up for the pain. Though a voice inside him said a different story, and that's why Dudley was so happy to go to Hogwarts. Finally, some place where he could be himself, where he wasn't forced to be mean to his cousin or create idiotic gangs! The best thing was, he and Harry could be friends and the horrified whip wouldn't return, then he would explain everything to his cousin so he would understand. Dudley secretly admired Harry, but he had never told anybody but his owl, which he had named Shotgun, his father's idea of a good name. He had so desperately wanted to call it Harry, but to keep up his act Dudley had been forced to call it Shotgun, making his younger cousin feel that he was a bad boy. None of this was true, of course. The truth was yet to be found.

"How much further till we get to Kings Cross?" whined Dudley, 10 years of practice had gotten him the expert of moaning.

"Not long know Popkin," hushed Mum, giving her little boy a look which clearly stated, 'Well done,' as he was keeping up the act even when he could give up. Dudley's life was hard. They rest of the journey was spent with Dudley asking when they would arrive every few seconds and moaning as they got closer. He had to keep up the act, he couldn't give up now. Soon Kings Cross came into view and the boy's heart skipped a beat. Never before had Dudley been so excited to go to school, and in the deep part of his brain, a voice was muttering, 'You shouldn't be happy, you shouldn't be happy." But the spoilt kid didn't care, he was going to be free from his parents and that was all he wanted. The car drove up, Harry and his cousin dashing out of the car, waiting for their trunks to be taken out of the boot. Without warning, a bench set on fire next to Harry and Mum and Dad growled at the boy closest too it, angry that he was letting everybody know about what he was. They weren't that happy that Dudley was a wizard, but got over it with buying the boy the best things for school and only letting Harry use a little bit of his money. Of course the Dursleys couldn't keep the act up for long, and ended up giving Harry a great deal of money from his vault, and Harry might've even got better things than Dudley, who had snuck a broom in. The boot of the car opened and the two boys grabbed trunks and owls, which were scattered during the long car journey and began squabbling, as usual, over whose trunk knocked over the other. The argument was settled with Mum saying that Harry's trunk had been moving all the way there, and the smaller boy kept casting looks of anger towards the bigger boy. They walked in silence towards Kings Cross, blushing whenever somebody complimented their owls. It was quite busy because many people were rushing to work but they still have plenty of time, around fifteen minutes. "Why hello, hello!" cried a voice out of nowhere, and Dudley was greeted by his Aunt Marge.

"Hello Marge! Pleasure to see you, what are you doing here today?" asked Dad sternly, using his huge size to hide the owls, which seemed to be interested by this new visitor. Dudley's aunt was his dad's sister, in no way related to Harry but they were both forced to call her that. Dudley hated her visits, she always seemed to be so mean to Harry and he would never admit it but Dudley was afraid of her dogs, even if they didn't snarl or bite at him. "Well Vernon, where I live there is no proper vets and the ones that do exist don't understand the nature of my bulldogs, they say it should be illegal. I found a vet that only looks after bulldogs and decided to take my least favourite pet, Queasy, to it because I think he ate somebody's toe," Aunt Marge said importantly, and pointed at Harry. "What is that little runt doing here?"

"I'm sending him to boarding school, St Brutus's Secure Centre for Incurably Criminal Boys, and Dudley here is going to St John's School," Dad lied, Dudley smiling with a fake grin, wanting his aunt to know he was going to Hogwarts, but he couldn't tell. His parents would kill him, and anyway, who would believe him? "Better get going, don't want to be late!" Dad said cheerfully as they left his sister and continued to stroll towards platform 9 and 10. They were all glad that was over. As they arrived, Mum grabbed hold of the spoilt child, almost squeezing him to death. "I'm going to miss you so, Dinky Duddydums!" she sobbed, grabbing the boy into a strangle hug.

"I'm going to miss you too... Mum," Dudley replied, trying to get back all the air he lost. He didn't really miss her; maybe he could turn her into a frog when he came home for the summers. "Promise you'll write every single day," demanded Mum, pulling up her son's head so he was looking at her. A huge smile was plastered on his face and his eyes twinkled... mischievously.

"Promise."

Dad placed his hand on his only child's shoulder, and grunted proudly. This was his son, going to beat Harry at magic and make sure that Hogwarts brought the most pain to him. So he thought. Dudley smiled sweetly at his dad too and grabbed his trolley before running at the area between platform 9 and 10, and appearing at the other side, banging into his cousin. "Wanna find a compartment together?" spluttered Dudley as he recovered.

"Why would I want to find a compartment with you? You've just made my life a misery and I'm not letting you do that again," snapped Harry, heading off towards the back of the train.

"Wait..."

Dudley stared in his cousin's direction, realising his parents had ruined his beautiful chance to the Boy Who Lived's friend. Those foul, loathsome, evil little cockroaches! They will have to pay! "Are you lost?" a voice lingered behind me, and Dudley was already dreading the worst before he saw a red headed girl, who had her hair in a bob and was wearing a pretty headband on top of it. Not wanting to lose the chance to make a friend, Dudley replied, "Yes. Can you help me get a compartment?" The girl nodded and together, they loaded the boy's trunk and owl onto the train and found a compartment towards the back. Right next to Harry's. "What's your name?" the girl asked, as they entered a compartment with another girl and boy, both with blonde hair. "I'm Susan. This is Hannah and Ernie." The girl and boy waved, as Dudley settled in next to Susan.

"Dudley."

He was embarrassed that his voice shook, but here he had no power over anybody. He was... ordinary. The others would never tremble in fear of him, maybe this was a change. "Cool, I have a cousin called Dudley, but he is the biggest pain ever!" moaned Ernie, and the fat boy smiled shyly. That's what Harry would've said if he had a friend named Dudley. They began a conversation about what house they wanted to be in and what house they definitely didn't want to be in. "Ravenclaw," began Hannah. "And DEFINITELY not Gryffindor, they suck." The others nodded and soon Dudley joined, reckoning he would want to be Ravenclaw instead. "Slytherin," said Ernie. "And not Gryffindor like Hannah. They think they're so much better than the rest of us." Again everybody agreed and they never went to Dudley or Susan and instead began to talk about how much Gryffindors suck. By the end Dudley wished he had never wanted to be in Gryffindor, they did indeed suck. They just wanted attention, in which Ernie slightly blushed, and thought themselves better than any other house. Together they moved towards the idea that Hufflepuff were the best and each said they would try their hardest to be in that house, whatever test they had to do. "Excuse me?" Maybe they were making a new friend all ready. Dudley's dream grew as he saw who at the compartment door. A rather pretty girl, long bushy hair and the most perfect eyes. The spoilt child's first crush. "Have you seen a toad, Neville's lost his?" asked the perfect girl, but Ernie was first to reply.

"No, but tell Neville that toads are the worst animal you can get," he replied, ruining Dudley's chances to speak to her. Why would his best friend shatter his dream like that? "Wait!" cried Dudley, standing up. "I saw a toad roaming in some compartment, forgot which one it was. Maybe check the compartments?" He could just imagine having a shiny medal on his chest, the girl smiling at him. "Thanks, I'm Hermione, by the way," the girl replied, smiling at him.

"I'm Dudley and this Ernie. And this is Susan, and finally Hannah." The others looked dully at her, Susan smiling a tiny bit at the compartment door shut and they were back to square one. "What time is it Hannah? I'm starving!" groaned Ernie and Dudley felt his own stomach rumble.

"1 o'clock. The food trolley should be here by now."

As if on cue, a woman with curly hair and wearing a little pink dress arrived, her hands gripping to a trolley as if it was about to zoom right out of her hands. On it stood thousands, or even millions, of yummy treats and snacks. Chocolate frogs wiggled dangerously, piled in stacks which could've been taller than a fat person's head that had been squished. Pumpkin pasties and liquorish wands were scattered everywhere. Oh and cauldron cakes, Dudley could only wish he had as much money as Harry, he would've bought it all. But he only had 3 gallon, 9 sickles and 11 knuts. Could've only bought him around a quarter of the chocolates frogs and one or two cauldron cakes. His stomach rumbled at the thought of it. "Don't worry, my dad gave me some extra money in case of an emergency," Ernie announced and handed the woman some wizard money, grabbing a hand full of all sorts of sweets, Hannah and Dudley drooling in delight. Susan was telling a different story. "What if there really is an emergency?" she grumbled, before snatching the biggest cauldron cake, which Dudley had been eyeing greedily. He moaned in anger. "The great Harry Potter will save us!" Ernie replied, barely audible as he stuffed his face with two liquorish wands, saluting the trolley witch away. Something that angered Susan so much more. "Oh, so you think Harry Potter will save us all! He was a baby when it happened, who says he can do it twice!" she screeched, a boy with green eyes, glasses and messy black hair peered through the open compartment door, his eyes glaring at Dudley, as Susan blushed. Her friend couldn't blame her; Harry could easily be offended by this, so everybody thought. Dudley knew this would barely touch his cousin, and he would forget about it tomorrow. "Did I hear my name?" he asked, sliding his glasses up his nose as a red headed boy appeared.

"Sorry," whispered Susan, going as red as her hair and looking at the floor. Dudley couldn't help but do the same; Harry was bound to tease him while he was with his friends. "Well Big D, bullied your friends yet?" The tease had come and everybody's eyes stuck to Dudley like glue, until Ernie spoke.

"What the heck are you talking about?! Dudley is the kindest boy I've met, well except myself of," he roared, glaring at the famous boy. It was Harry's turn to go red. "According to Harry, Dudley used to bully kids and himself for power," Harry's friend snapped.

"Get out! Who let you in our compartment? Get out, hope you're in Gryffindor! Goodbye!" yelled Susan, surprising everybody and waving a chocolate frog package at the boys. A few people had appeared to see who was shouting, eyes filled with terror. After Harry and his best buddy left, Susan returned to her normal peachy skin and everybody sat in silence for too long. "Get changed into our robes?" Hannah finally asked and they pulled their robes over them, hoping to see yellow on them by tomorrow. It was unlikely, but possible. They sat in silence some more, taking turns to try and straighten patches of their new robes, until there were no patches to straighten. Then they sat in silence again, until they found it unbearable. "How long till we get to Hogwarts?" wondered Susan, and as if on cue again, they train stopped and a forest of children scattered down the corridor, barging into each other and leaving the train. The four stood up, shaking nervously and squeezed out of the compartment door, finding themselves lost in a pack of Ravenclaw fourth years. Who were waving a pack of Slytherin seventh years. The four were stuck, Dudley finally using his enormous body weight to barge into them, making them fall over and the group headed off the train, to meet a tiny giant, who was simply too big to be allowed. He twice the height of a man and five times as wide. And he was waving at Harry. Great. "FIRS' YEARS! FIRS' YEARS OVER HERE!" he was yelling, not doing much but annoy Dudley to say the least. He carried on this routine until he finally realised that everybody there and gestured for them to follow him. "He looks about the size of a baby giant," muttered Ernie, shaking his head, Hannah's hands over her mouth to try and mute a chuckle. It didn't work though. "Laughing at that brute too? My father shall hear about this idiot even being allowed at this school. What was Dumbledore thinking?" said a white-haired boy, yawning dramatically. "Well, I've got to do some business." He strutted off, allowing his new robes to fly behind him as he wondered towards the front, going to talk to Harry by the looks of it. Hannah shrugged, Ernie muttering that some people that seemed on your side weren't and Susan commenting that he was a very rude boy. "Couldn't agree with you more," Dudley added, realising he had barely spoken at all during his time with his new friends. They smiled back at them as they stopped before some boats. Some people laughed, some shrieked and a few stared blankly into the water, which was midnight black, reflecting the sky. But to Dudley, it was beautiful. He never got to see real nature, only the artificial ones that his mother placed in their garden to make it seem real. And the water seemed more... wild let's put it. The only time Dudley had seen water like this was when he was getting his huge weight out of the water, which never was a pleasant time, but this water. "NO MORE'N FOUR TO A BOAT!" yelled the baby giant, and the four headed towards the boat furthest away from the Boy-Who-Lived and his mate. It turned out Dudley was too heavy to go in a boat with three other people without falling out of it, and ended up going with Ernie while Hannah and Susan, promising they'll meet up with the boys later, sharing a boat with Hermione and a round-headed boy, who was weeping. Looking back at Dudley and Ernie with mad expressions, they joined them as the boys began to chat. "No offence, but how did you get so heavy?" Ernie asked, making Dudley blush.

"Not here, I'll tell you when nobody else is around," commented the other boy, looking away and instead at Hannah and Susan, who were pulling funny faces are them. "Somewhere where we can be ourselves..."

**How did you like it? There won't be many chapters, only one more. Please enjoy and review!**


	2. Moving In

**Thanks for everybody who loved the first chapter. I'm giving a shout out to two guests (you know who you are), Dominoblue, Lexithewitch, Patricka Parker, blushingpixie, xxquirpxx, Aly Black-Starr and vueren. Apologises if I spelt your usernames incorrectly. **

Moving In

"Dursley, Dudley!"

Dudley stood nervously next to Ernie, waiting to put the mangy hat, which called itself the Sorting Hat, on his head. Hearing his name, Dudley wished he had never pleaded with his mother and father to go. All of sudden a wave of anger fell onto him, and he glared at his cousin, thinking if Harry hadn't been alive, he might've not come. But he nervously stumbled towards the hat, placed it on his head and let it read his mind. "You're one of the harder ones, aren't you Mr Dursley. But I have a knack with them. Yes, very loyal to your parents and friends. Hufflepuff if you don't mind. But you seem very intelligent deep down; I have half a mind to put you in Ravenclaw! Any house you really want to be in? I would add Slytherin to your options, you have a thirst to prove yourself, but you were born with muggle parents, so I can't." The voice was a bit annoying but it wasn't as bad as seeing images inside your head and your reaction would place you in a house. "Ohhh, you want to be in Hufflepuff more, you and your friends agreeing it was the right house. Alright then. Oh and Dudley, you need to try harder to be Harry's friend, HUFFLEPUFF!" He took the hat off wearily, thinking about what it had said. "DUDLEY, DUDLEY!" screamed Hannah and Susan from the Hufflepuff table as he sat down with them, still a bit dazed. He looked across to see a handsome boy, staring at him with interest. "Cedric Diggory, nice to meet you. You must be Harry Potter's cousin," he greeted, shaking Dudley's hand.

"Can you not tell anybody? I know people will know soon, but I don't want to be known as Harry Potter's cousin," Dudley asked and the third year nodded, before going back to chat with his friends. Other names were now being called out.

"Finch-Fletchley, Justin!"

He became another Hufflepuff and his house roared with joy, the newest joining in, Susan blushing when he came over.

"Granger, Hermione!"

Dudley waited in hope; hope that she would be Hufflepuff with him. They would walk together, finding toads for other people and kiss right in the centre of their common room...

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Dudley's heart fell with sadness, and Hermione skipped over to the Gryffindor table, his friends would now hate her. Trying to see on the bright side, Dudley clapped along with Hufflepuff for their new knights, until finally, after of what seemed hours, Harry's name was called.

"Potter, Harry!"

Many whispers fled through the Grand Hall, and a few growls came from next to him, who Dudley supposed was from Susan. He booed quietly, as most of the school went silent.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The Gryffindors cheered, Susan and Dudley shared happy little winks and the rest of the school moaned, the rest of the sorting seemed unimportant now. Dudley was starving!

"Weasley, Ronald!"

Dudley soon learnt that Harry's best friend was called Ronald, and he was sorted into Gryffindor as well. He couldn't help but be glad his parents never allowed him to be friends with Harry.

"Zabini, Blaise!"

After a few seconds, he was made Slytherin. Life couldn't be more perfect. "I'm starving!" moaned Ernie, who had also been made Hufflepuff, lifting up his plate, staring underneath. "When will it be served?"

"Quit moaning Ernie! Dumbledore is about to speak!" hissed Susan, kicking him under the table.

"Why do we even care about Dumbledore? He's a Gryffindor!" Dudley pointed out and the other three nodded in agreement, Ernie still grumbling under his breath.

* * *

"Follow me Hufflepuffs! Make way for the first years, if you're smart you'll get out of the way," Dudley's prefect yelled, nudging a Ravenclaw out of the way. "Please follow me towards your common room!"

"You would've thought he was the best in the school," murmured Ernie, as Susan and Hannah giggled sheepishly. The prefect was good looking, and they had huge crushes on him. They wandered down into a small corridor, with a huge portrait of some fruit and some barrels. Almost lazily, the Hufflepuff prefect began tapping the barrels in some sort of song and it opened up, showing the Hufflepuff common room. "The start of term party will begin shortly, I advise you get comfy in the common room and wait for some seventh years to come," he announced and everybody poured in, chatting excitedly. What Dudley stood in was paradise. A yellow room with many dancing badgers around, and a fat monk standing in the corner. "Welcome first years! Please take some snacks, the party shall begin soon!" she yelled, before addressing some third years, who hurried out of the common room.

"Some sort of party, do you reckon all houses have one?" Susan asked, while Ernie shook his head.

"No, my dad was a Ravenclaw and he only got given a few books before heading to bed on his first night," he announced and they got a sofa, squishing themselves down before looking at some seventh years that had just arrived.

* * *

"That was some party," yawned Ernie as he drew the curtains of his bed and settled down to go to sleep. Dudley was too tired to talk, and instead only gave a small grunt before settling down. It had been a long day...

* * *

It was pretty impossible to find your way around Hogwarts, and Dudley kept on getting in trouble a lot. Homework soon was above the height of his bed and one evening he went to the library to work on it with Ernie, Hannah and Susan. They were discussing anything that came to mind. "I love cats. What's your favourite pet?" Susan asked.

"Pig."

"Owl."

"Pony."

"My favourite subject is Herbology, what's yours?" Hannah asked.

"Potions."

"Astronomy."

"Charms."

"My favourite professor is Quirrel, who's yours?" Dudley asked.

"Flitwick."

"Hooch."

"Sprout." It was fun asking questions, but Ernie's was Dudley's least favourite. "So, Dudley, how did you get so heavy?" Ernie asked again. "We are somewhere we can be ourselves; nobody else is in the library!" This didn't stop Dudley feeling nervous, but he spoke for his friends. "My parents wanted to show Harry that even though I wasn't famous or anything, I was better. They made me hate him and bully him!" he whispered, a few tears leaking out of his eyes. Hannah and Susan said they felt sorry for him and Ernie gave him a quick hug, before going to get a new book from the shelves. Then something impossible happened, Harry hugged Dudley. "I am sorry," whispered the famous one, winking at the others and going off. This was the best day of Dudley's life.

**How did you like it? Please review and this is the last chapter sorry. I may never come back to this story, but if you guys want more I'll add a little bit about life with the Chosen One. A new fanfiction isn't coming out for a while, but I'm working on it. **

**P.S I don't write many chapters in Fanfictions, I just can't do it. **


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